8 Ways to Fight Swamp Ass This Summer
Have you ever stood up from a dry chair in the summertime, only to feel like you sat in something soupy? Or have you ever seen a poor dude unknowingly strolling around with a giant dark spot on the back of his slacks?
Both of these are textbook examples of swamp ass: the sweaty mess that accumulates in your butt crack and further nether regions—especially in muggy weather.
Swamp ass (AKA “swass”) can quickly kill your summer vibes, especially if you’re on a date or on the golf course. Butt don’t worry—there’s hope.
In this article, we’ll explain the science of swamp ass and give you a bunch of DUDE-approved tips to keep your booty dew at bay.
What Is Swamp Ass?
Swamp ass is a slang term for a sweaty butt crack or crotch region. It feels damp, slimy, and hot, hence the term “swamp.” The puddle of sweat often soaks through your underwear, leaving a distinct wet spot on the back of your shorts.
Other symptoms of swamp ass include chafing, itching, rashes, and funky odors.
Swamp ass is notorious for striking during hot summer days, especially if it’s humid. But you can also get swass in the gym or in a room where someone cranks the heat too high.
The term swamp ass appears to have originated in 1995 when an anonymous Usenet poster told another: “Your mother smells like swamp ass.” Swamp ass made it into Urban Dictionary in 2002, and from here it became the go-to slang for a sweaty bum.
What Causes Swamp Ass?
Swamp ass develops when too much perspiration accumulates between your butt cheeks. There’s not much air circulation in your nether regions to begin with, so when heat and moisture get trapped down there you end up with a bayou-style climate in your crotch.
Sweating is an essential body function that regulates your body temperature. That said, too much sweat below the belt can turn into a breeding ground for bacteria and a chronic itchy feeling.
Typically, the sweat glands you should worry about are located in your underarms (eccrine glands), which release an oily substance that produces body odor. The glands in your nether regions (eccrine glands) produce odorless sweat. However, if your crack isn't clean and you sit in odorless sweat for a while, bacteria and germs can form that create that special swass odor.
8 Ways to Prevent Swamp Ass
Swamp ass is a normal bodily function, but it’s an embarrassing one at that. Accordingly, we rounded up eight ways to fight swass and stay dry below the belt.
1. Use Body Powder
Body powder is like an insurance policy for swamp ass. It absorbs moisture while also deodorizing everything in its path so you stay stank-free and dry.
After drying yourself off from your morning shower, give your nether regions a proper dusting with DUDE Powder. Unlike most body powders for men or baby powder, ours is talc-free and infused with natural odor-fighting ingredients like menthol and aloe.
Think of it like antiperspirant deodorant for your ass.
2. Do a Mid-Day Maintenance Wipe
Swamp ass usually creeps in during the late afternoon, but you might not have access to a shower. If you're away from your home throne, keep some DUDE Wipes on hand to freshen up between meetings. Unlike dry toilet paper, they’re infused with aloe and vitamin E to soothe your nether regions and keep swass at bay.
If your armpits need attention too, opt for the extra-large DUDE Shower Wipes. It's like having an on-demand shower in your pocket.
3. Wear Moisture-Wicking Underwear
If you have a swass problem, you need to invest in some new underwear. Basic cotton underwear is good because it's breathable. The downside is once they get wet, they stay wet.
Linen is also good because it's the lightest fabric, but it's not exactly practical for everyday use.
So invest in some skivvies with moisture-wicking fabrics like DUDE Underwear. And don't forget to carry a spare pair of underwear in your work or gym bag, which will bail you out from any soiled situations.
4. Wear Loose-Fitting Shorts and Pants
Aside from the uncomfortable, moist feeling in your pants, the most embarrassing part of swass is the tire track of sweat that can form on your backside, leaving you wondering if everyone has noticed the festering pond in your pants.
Tight clothing makes this scenario even worse because they keep all the moisture in. The solution is to wear loose-fitting or baggy clothing on hot days to give you a better chance of airing out your butt crack. Consider wearing your dark jeans to hide those embarrassing sweat stains better. Comfortable underwear and loose-fitting pants can also cut down on the dreaded chub rub (read: no chafing).
5. Cut Down On the Caffeine
While caffeine can help jumpstart your morning ritual, it also stimulates your central nervous system and activates your sweat glands. So if you're a member of the big sweat club, drinking stimulants can lead to excessive sweating you don't need (the same goes for meat sweats).
6. Take a Shower Every Day
Draining the swamp starts in the shower. While over-showering is definitely a thing, it's a different ball game in the humid summer months. A daily shower will kill nasty bacteria that fester in those forgotten crevices below the belt.
7. Trim Your Butt Hair
If you have a jungle in your pants, you're allowing all that butt sweat and bacteria to fester in your underwear. The answer for your butt bush isn't shaving or waxing—that's just going to cause more problems, which you can read more about in our post about conquering a hairy ass.
Instead, regularly use a trimmer to manscape your nether regions, which gives all that sweat you produce less room to hide.
8. Move Around to Let Your Balls Breathe
Sitting on a soupy butt for long periods of time blocks airflow and presses sweat deeper into your skin, making it even more moist. It might seem counterintuitive since movement makes you sweat, but walking around often can dry up your nether regions by letting your crotch breathe.
When to See a Doctor About Swamp Ass
Aside from embarrassment and inconvenience, swamp ass rarely indicates a serious problem and can be managed on its own. However, if your crotch is consistently soaked to the point that it interferes with everyday life, you can check with a dermatologist.
It may be the case that you have hyperhidrosis: a condition that triggers excessive sweat, even if you're not exercising or in a hot climate. If that's the case, your doctor may give you a prescription-strength antiperspirant.
Don't Let Swass Ruin Your Summer
Men are sweaty beasts. There are no two ways about it. We churn out nearly a thousand gallons of sweat per year. You can't stop Mother Nature, but a few tweaks to your daily routine will keep your Dude Regions cool and dry, sparing you the shame of a damp derriere.